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TV man

*** NOT THIS ***

Carl was limp behind all his screens. Media had taken over his life. There was no end to all that he consumed. Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, all the social media. And of course the streaming services prevent him from any reasonable amount of sleep. He new he had to cut back… He just couldn’t.

The old alarm clock blinks on his shelf next to his few little league trophies and science fiction books.  The time hasn’t been set for years. He remembers little league and his friend Jake.  That was a lifetime ago.

*** END “NOT THIS” ***

“Hey buddy… psst!  Hey.  OVER HERE!”  Carl awoke from his media driven slumber to a jolt.  Or did he?

“Yes!  It’s me!  I’m talking to you.  You aren’t dreaming.”

Carl leaned up slowly testing his balance and sobriety.

“No… you’re not drunk… or high… I am in fact talking to you. Well… you might be drunk or high…Are you?”

Carl looked around, closed his eyes and shook his head trying to clear this strange image from his head. To no avail. It or he was still there.  He was staring at Walter White on one of his television screens.  Walter was… talking to him.

“Who are you?” Carl bemused.

“I’m Walter White!  Of course.  Well, not really.  I’m just currently being him in here.”  Walter tapped the inside of the screen with a surprising “dink… dink”.

“I’ve always liked being Walter. He’s a badass for sure. And so smart. The things going round in his head… woah! Definitely a psychopath. But, loveable for sure.”

“You’re in there talking to me? How is this possible?” stuttered Carl. “Is everyone seeing this?”

Walter laughed. “Haha.  I wish.  Man I could have so much fun messing with people’s favorite episodes of stuff or change endings.  People would be so confused!  No man.  Just talking to you.”

“Wait, you can go into other shows too? Like other characters?  That’s amazing!” Carl was beginning to relax but still thoroughly perplexed.

“Yeah, Man!  Any show. Any Character. Live or re-runs.” He let out a sigh… “Good times. Good times.”

“This can’t be happening!”  Carl began looking through his drugs; prescribed or otherwise.

“Look, dude. It’s happening.”  The screen flickered to Sponge Bob.

“See! Now I’m Sponge Bob. Daft little shit but hey… he’s good for demonstration purposes.” Sponge Bob crashed his boat into the driving school.

“This is insane.  I’m going crazy.  Why is this happening to me? What do you want?” Panic setting in.

The screen pops to Pulp Fiction where Samuel L. Jackson playing Jules Winnfield just finished his bite of his Big Kahuna Burger.

“Listen Carl.  I’m TV man and we need to talk?” Jules growls.

“What!?” is all Carl could say.

“Say “what” again! SAY “what” again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherfucker! Say “what” one more goddamn time!”  Jules laughed hard.  “Oh, man!  You fell right into that one.”

Carl was speechless.

[book id=363]

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